


you've got me buzzing

by emotionalpanda



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Pre-Relationship, Realizations, a lil smut, repressed lesbian jen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalpanda/pseuds/emotionalpanda
Summary: Jen and Judy go to a sex shop and Jen realizes she's a huge lesbian!
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 18
Kudos: 86





	you've got me buzzing

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to bethchildz for beta-ing this! this started out as a bunch of vibrator jokes and then turned into a fic so idk have fun

They’re drinking wine, like any ordinary night, when it happens. Judy’s a little drunk, Jen knows, because Judy’s wine is sloshing in the glass and she’s giving Jen that puppy-like pout that only comes out after glass number three. 

“Be honest with me,” Judy starts, “Did Ted… did Ted ever make you orgasm?” 

Judy’s face is so serious, as if they’re in a courtroom and Jen’s the witness being questioned. Jen wants to laugh. 

“What?”

“Did he?” Judy picks up her glass to take a tiny sip, “Or was he, like, totally useless in bed? Some men kind of are. It’s so sad…” Judy looks off into the distance, frowning.

Jen doesn’t answer. Jen knows that Judy tends to get a little nosy when she’s drunk, but usually the questions are easy to answer. Judy will ask about the name of Jen’s first stuffed animal, or what Jen’s first kiss was like, if the guy had decent breath or if his breath smelled like hot dogs.

After a long pause, Jen replies, “I mean… I guess.” 

That would be enough of an answer, right? Surely, she shouldn’t have to go into the specifics of it with her best friend. The questioning made Jen nervous in a way she couldn’t name. Why did Judy need to know?

“You guess? Orgasms aren’t exactly guesswork, Jen. Did he make you scream or not?” Judy says, bolder now, as if she’s getting mad at Ted (and maybe all men in the universe).

Jen hesitates, “Um...no, I guess there wasn’t screaming involved… but he still did make me feel… good. Sometimes.”

Judy looks so sad, like finding out that her best friend doesn’t have mind blowing orgasms is the same emotion as learning that Santa isn’t real. It’s laughable, really, how persistent Judy is about this. 

Judy pouts, “I just think you deserve more than that, Jen. I wish you loved yourself more.” 

Jen shakes her head, smiling, “And I think you should go to bed, Judes. You’re getting a little… confessy. Next thing I know, you’re going to tell me you’re researching vibrators to gift me.” 

Judy breaks eye contact, “Well… I may have a tab or two open…” 

“Jesus, Judy,” Jen says, “We’re not talking about this.” 

Judy finishes her glass with a big gulp, then points at Jen, “But we should! Talk about it I mean. You need to own your womanhood, Jen. Your poontang is a palace.” 

Jen grabs the nearly empty bottle of wine, corks it with one of those rubber wine stops, puts it in the fridge, then turns back to Judy, “Please never say poontang again. I mean it. Literally any other word.” 

“Delicate flower?” Judy asks.

Jen closes her eyes, “Nope. Not doing this tonight. No. Goodnight, Judy.” 

* * *

Jen wakes up with Judy’s arm around her, which shouldn’t be surprising; they’ve been sharing a bed for a while. But, after Judy’s orgasm interrogation last night, Jen’s finding that the arm around her waist feels different. 

Sure, yeah, maybe Judy is right. Maybe Jen does deserve better. But, Judy’s a dreamer and Jen’s a realist, and maybe Judy’s being too optimistic about it all.

Maybe the G-spot is a real thing, but Jen’s not sure she has one. She wishes she had a GPS that could figure out where the fuck it is. 

“Jen?” Judy whispers, sleep still hanging in her voice.

“Hey,” Jen says, “You were a little drunk last night, do you need some water?” 

Jen’s noticed that she gets softer around Judy. It would feel weird with anyone else, this gentleness, but with Judy it just feels like a reflex, like cooing when a puppy yawns. 

“No, I’m fine,” Judy says, “But thank you.” 

Jen pauses, feeling awkward. She can’t tell if Judy forgot about the conversation from last night, or if she’s just giving Jen a break from the girl-power-clitoris talk. 

She hopes that Judy forgot.

They’re sitting next to each other at the kitchen table, eating yogurt with granola, when Jen notices that Judy is glued to her phone. Normally, this wouldn’t be worrying: Judy has a habit of scrolling through cat adoption websites and shoving the phone in Jen’s face every time she comes across a cat named “Peanut Butter Cup” or “Meowseum.” Judy tends to end up on the wikipedia pages for different types of flowers ( _ because some need direct sunlight and some need the shade and how are any of us supposed to know if they can’t tell us? _ \--as Judy would say). It’s usually something like that, something not Jen related. 

This time, though, it might be Jen related. 

“Judy… What is that?” Jen asks, looking at Judy’s phone screen and then back at Judy. 

“It’s nothing?” Judy says, suddenly sheepish.

“It looks like a cucumber painted itself hot pink and then grew a fucking arm. That’s definitely something.”

“It’s just a vibrator,” Judy says, as if looking at vibrators is a part of their regular breakfast routine. (It’s not.)

“And you’re looking at this… because?” Jen’s not sure she wants to hear the answer.

“I meant what I said. You deserve better.” 

Judy scrolls down the page with her thumb and points to a symbol of a water droplet.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jen asks.

“That means it’s waterproof. Fully submersible. So, like, you could masturbate in a pool I guess? But, I don’t know, chlorine might not be the best for that… And you definitely shouldn’t try it at a waterpark, because I’m pretty sure that’s like, super illegal.” Judy’s visibly cringing at herself now, but she tries to play it off, “Anyway, there’s a shop not too far from here. I think we should go check it out.”

Jen knows that Judy’s not referring to a grocery store, although it would be easier if she was. Buying tomatoes would be a lot less intimidating. Jen’s stomach flutters at the thought of going to a  _ sex shop _ with Judy. Is that really a thing friends do together? Jen’s lacking in the friends department, so she can’t be sure. 

Jen frowns and loses herself in thought. Judy’s always making her think too hard, but Jen can’t pinpoint why that happens. It should be annoying, but it’s Judy, and Jen can’t bring herself to be annoyed at Judy. 

Judy’s looking at her, hope in her eyes, waiting for an answer. Jen can’t say no to that face.

Jen grumbles, “Fine. But I can’t promise that I’ll buy anything.”

* * *

“You’re taking me to a store called  _ Pleasure Treasure?  _ What is this, some sort of X-rated Dr. Seuss location?” Jen says, staring at the store front from her spot on the sidewalk.

Judy fake gasps, “Dr. Seuss would  _ never! _ ” She grabs Jen’s hand, and before Jen can protest, Judy’s dragging them down the small set of stairs to the front door. 

Their hands are still intertwined when they walk through the door. Jen has to admit, it feels kind of nice, comforting even. A bell rings to signal their entrance, and Jen looks up in search of the ringing sound, cursing it for calling attention to them. 

An overly perky woman, somehow perkier than Judy, crosses the store to greet them. She has the appearance of a chihuahua that’s just been told it’s going for a walk. Jen squeezes Judy’s hand tighter (as a cry for help). 

“So what brings you two here today?” The woman asks, “We’re having a sale on water based lube, which is in the back, and we just got a shipment of new harnesses, if you need one of those!”

“Oh that’s okay! We’re just looking around, but thank you!” Judy replies. 

When they reach the vibrator section of the store, Judy finally lets go of Jen’s hand and Jen is surprised at the sense of loss she feels from the separation. 

Jen eyes the shelves: there’s way more shape variety than she would have expected, like, who the fuck needs a sex toy that looks exactly like a cartoon eggplant.  _ What kind of vegetarian nonsense…  _

There’s vibrators in every color, but most seem to fall into the pink-purple range. That’s fine, Jen thinks, but isn’t it a little loud? Like,  _ hey everyone! Here’s my fucking flamingo-colored-fuckstick!  _ It’s a little bit of an eyesore, if she’s being honest. Maybe the black and grey ones look too much like hi-tech microphones, Jen rationalizes. 

“Ooh!” Judy nudges Jen to get her attention, then points, “Look, that one’s the one I was showing you this morning! It’s got dual motors, and it’s USB rechargeable! That’s great for the environment, because you know, a lot of people don’t dispose of batteries the right way…” 

Jen moves closer to the product in question and looks at it curiously. 

Judy continues, “And it’s got that little, like, rounded nub thing on that one part,” she points, “which I think is neat. Less likely to slip and slide.”

Jen turns to look at Judy, “You’re a weird person, Judy.”

Judy smiles, then bops Jen on the nose with her finger, “Yes, but you love me.”

Jen rolls her eyes at that, but smiles back. Jen’s face warms at the thought that maybe, just maybe, Judy’s a little more right about that than she knows. Jen quickly pushes that thought down, clears her throat, and utters a non-committal “Maybe.”

Before either of them can linger in the moment, the peppy saleswoman pops out of nowhere like a whack-a-mole.  _ Jesus Christ. _

“You two make a lovely couple,” The woman comments, as if that’s any of her fucking business. 

“Oh we’re…” Jen starts.

“Thank you so much,” Judy interjects, a smile growing on her face. 

“I see you’re checking out  _ The Wink _ ? That’s one of our top sellers, and for good reason. That baby will rock your world!” 

“Great!” Judy replies, with genuine enthusiasm.

The woman, Sally (now that Jen’s finally reading the name tag), nods excessively before continuing: “Oh this one is… This one is amazing. Zoo wee mama… I once lost the charger to this bad boy, only for twenty four hours, really, but I missed it so much I had to borrow the store’s spare charger to cope.”

Jen scrunches her nose at that. Who goes around telling people that sort of information? It’s a little much. 

Judy seems unfazed, though, as she asks, “Does it really have 12 speeds for each motor? That’s amazing.” 

Sally’s face lights up, and she gestures for the two to follow her, “It does! Come to the counter and I’ll show you!” 

They’re standing at the counter, waiting for Sally to come back with the display model, and Jen knows that interaction will be  _ so weird  _ because this shop really is something else. Jen looks around at all the different types of products, out of curiosity, and spots what seems to be a dildo that attaches to the thigh. It’s not that weird of a concept, honestly, but all Jen can think of is someone wearing the dildo, strapped to their thigh, and can-can kicking as a way to thrust. 

Jen grabs Judy’s hand to distract herself from the urge to laugh. She will  _ not  _ be seen giggling at dildos in a sex shop, but Judy leans into her in a way that says  _ don’t worry, we can laugh about this later.  _ It’s nice to be understood without having to speak. Jen doesn’t know when this secret language came to be, but she’s forever grateful for it. Going out in public would be fucking insufferable without Judy by her side, reading her mind, giving Jen knowing looks. Judy’s like some telepathic little fairy, and Jen loves her for it.

Sally returns, hot pink vibrator in hand, “Okay, so I know that dual motors sounds like it would be like, super loud, but it’s really not! It’s actually pretty quiet for its size and power. Very discrete!” She places the vibrator into a holder to keep it upright and steady on the counter, “Now, for the speeds. You can hold it while I cycle through them, if you want,” She points to two buttons at the bottom and explains what they do. Jen puts a hand on the vibrator as the woman clicks through the speeds. 

“This combo of speeds gets me every time,” Sally admits, “I’m getting chills just thinking about it…” Jen thinks that the combination feels like someone tried to make morse code sexy.

“I’ll take it,” Jen declares. She just wants this woman to stop talking. If Judy thought this one was good enough for Jen, it probably is. 

“Oh you won’t regret it!” The woman says, nearly jumping for joy at Jen’s decision, “I’ll throw in a small bottle of lube with your purchase.” 

* * *

The boys are at Lorna’s for the weekend, which Jen is ever so thankful for, because Jen’s walking into the house with a bag that reads  _ Pleasure Treasure _ in big bold letters. It’s not exactly subtle. 

“I’ll just go… set this in our room,” Jen says. She beelines for the stairs without making eye contact. 

_ Our room.  _

God, she sounds so fucking married. How has she not noticed this before?

* * *

Later, they’re watching some shitty romcom together on the couch, and Judy’s sitting closer than she needs to be. Jen’s trying to forget about the sex shop experience, because really, what was that lady’s deal? But, more than that, Jen’s trying to forget about Judy’s rings: their cool metal is a sharp contrast to Judy’s warm hands. When those hands are holding Jen’s, it keeps Jen grounded, balanced. One touch from Judy is a dose of gravity. With Judy’s hand in her own, Jen won’t fly off the handle at any minor inconvenience. She doesn’t know how Judy has that kind of power over her, but it’s there. 

Maybe it’s always been there.

The movie is at the most annoying part: the main guy grows whiny and plans a grand gesture, like a flash mob or a cringy airport declaration of love, and Jen can’t fucking stand watching it anymore. With every passing ten minutes, Judy’s been leaning more and more into Jen. Their sides have practically melded together. Jen’s never been more aware of every atom in her own body than she is now. It’s taking all of her restraint not to stare at the spot where their arms overlap. 

Maybe she’s a little bit attracted to her best friend. That doesn’t mean she needs to overthink about it right now. It’s best not to act on it in the moment, because what if Jen’s wrong? That would be a huge fucking mess. 

Jen leaps up from the couch, too abruptly. 

She stammers, “I’m, uh, going to go read… that uh, book? For book club. I’ll be back.”

Judy knows that Jen’s not in a book club. She’d never join a bookclub (well, maybe, if the group had a really nice selection of cheeses). It’s a stupid, obvious lie, but Judy plays along and nods in response. 

Jen reaches the bedroom and finds the bag from the shop. She dumps its contents on the bed. The vibrator’s packaging is simple, at least: it’s tucked into a box with a wire and a tiny instruction guide. She tosses those aside and heads to the bathroom to give the vibrator a quick wash. 

When she returns to the room, she grabs the small bottle of lube and sits down on the bed. Sally had said the vibrator was quiet, which is such a plus. Jen doesn’t want to have to fuck herself with something that sounds like a jackhammer. Karen would be at their doorstep, cheerily asking about the noise. That’s Jen’s fucking nightmare.

Jen unzips her pants and loosely folds them into a pile next to her. They’re good pants and they don’t deserve to be wrinkled just because Jen’s suddenly overcome with horniness. 

She slides her underwear down her legs and sets them on top of the pants, before pulling the duvet over her waist. It’s better if she doesn’t have to look at herself. 

Jen spreads her legs to make room for her hand, which reaches down to meet unexpected levels of wetness.  _ Oh… Well, shit. Maybe I should look into this gay thing… _

She grabs the vibrator and stares at the buttons to refamiliarize herself with their functions. She’s  _ not _ going to read the stupid instructional guide. 

She pours a small amount of the lube onto the vibrator and spreads it around with her hand. It makes her hand sticky, which is a little annoying, but whatever. With her other hand, she moves the vibrator down her body until it’s resting in her pubic hair, cold and smooth. She lets the silicone surface warm up with her skin, before slowly, slowly, pushing it in. 

She adjusts to it quickly. The smaller arm of the vibrator nudges against her clit and she lets out a quiet gasp without even noticing.  _ Fuck. It’s not even on yet. _

Once it feels comfortable, Jen takes a deep breath and clicks both buttons, hoping the speeds get the job done without a lot of tinkering.

And holy hell, it goes from zero to a hundred: like a tsunami wave kicking a shoreline with no prior pullback. Her hands grab fistfuls of sheets because she’s shaking and needs something to steady herself. She shuts her eyes tight, trying to hold on to this gorgeous feeling for as long as it will last. 

With her eyes closed, all Jen sees is Judy. Judy’s arm brushing against Jen’s arm. Judy’s rich, brown eyes. Judy insisting, again and again, that Jen deserves to feel like this. 

Judy.

When Jen can’t take it anymore, she clicks both buttons off and gently pulls the vibrator out. She holds it close to her face to look at it. It’s visibly slick, from the lube and from herself, and Jen’s still staring at it in awe when the bedroom door opens. 

Judy’s three steps into the room before she freezes in place, her jaw dropping. But, she doesn’t leave. She just stands there and stares at Jen. 

They hold the eye contact for a few, tense seconds. Jen coughs to break the silence, “Um. I’m just going to… I’m just going to go clean this.” 

Jen’s grateful that her shirt’s length reaches mid-thigh. It covers everything. Jen would want Judy to see her, all of her, but not right now. The realization is too fresh. The conversation will come when it comes, but right now Jen wants to pretend that nothing has changed. 

Jen finishes up in the bathroom and throws the clean vibrator into her underwear drawer. As she puts her underwear and pants back on, she can hear Judy’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Hey, uh, you can come out when you’re ready. I’m  _ so _ sorry I barged in on you like that. Karen’s at the door asking if we want to go pick our own peaches with her tomorrow, and I thought I’d ask you before answering her.” 

Once Jen’s fully clothed again, she joins Judy in the hallway. 

“Peach picking?” Jen asks.

Judy shrugs, “You know, I did see a vegan peach cobbler recipe that I wanted to try, so maybe? I feel bad. We never hang out with Karen. And she’s clearly, like, _so_ _lonely_ , Jen. I think we should go.” 

Jen considers it, then agrees, “Yeah, sure, why not. Hey, maybe she’s more fun than we think,” Jen pauses to think, “We definitely need to get her stoned one day.” 

“Oh my god, we totally have to.”

* * *

They tell Karen their thoughts on peach picking, say goodbye to her, then meander into the kitchen to plan for dinner. Jen’s never noticed just how much she loves to plan for dinners with Judy, whether it’s a new recipe Judy wants them to try, or just their usual orders from a delivery place. They’ve fallen into a routine and it makes home feel like  _ home _ .

Jen eyes the pizza delivery menu and looks through the list of veggie toppings, when Judy finally brings up the topic of the vibrator.

“So…” Judy smiles, nudging Jen playfully with her elbow, “Was it good? Did you have fun in there?” 

Jen sets the menu down and turns to Judy. She looks Judy in the eye.

“It was life changing,” Jen says softly, and she really, really means it.

“Oh?” Judy asks, curious.

“Yeah,” Jen replies, “I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.”

Their hands meet on the kitchen counter, on top of the pizza menu, and to Jen it feels like one of those telepathic moments. A silent admission. One of these days, Jen will figure out how to say it out loud, but for now, Jen knows it’s enough.


End file.
